Facebook Time with Snood - Where Snood has been and what is the latest?

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Snood

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God bless you Snood, you’re a great son and an incredible human being. Please take this opportunity to get plenty of rest and recharge your batteries; it is way past time to take care of the caretaker.

Putting on my retired physician(albeit pediatrician) hat, I would strongly recommend that you have the doctors review all of her meds, along with their potential interactions and side effects. Be sure to include over the counter and herbal meds. Her constipation and her hallucinations may(emphasis on “may”) be due to her meds. Also, ask for the names of some good local geriatric specialists. Yes, all adult primary care docs take care of elderly people but geriatric docs specifically train and specialize in the care of the elderly. Also be aware that many elderly people begin to hallucinate in the evening when they are in the hospital. This is called “sundowning” and it is far too common. I welcome you to Google it, and I tell you this not to be cruel but so that you are not further weirded out if this happens.

Also, it would not be a bad idea for her to have a rapid home Covid test five days after she gets home. Even in the pre-Covid days, hospitals were common places to get sick. Lastly, be aware that, when they send Momma Snood home, they will ask you to set up a followup visit with her primary. I apologize for being too obvious but you will have to see this person until Momma Snood gets an appointment to see somebody else. Obviously, easier said than done anywhere in the US, but I’m guessing that it’s even more difficult to arrange (for demographic reasons)in Florida.

I sincerely wish only the best things for you and Momma Snood in 2022. There has to be some positive karma out there waiting for you.

I do not believe in karma anymore :mad:
 

doity

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She walked in the hospital with a walker and 4 days later she was discharged today but when she went to get up to get in the wheel chair, she could stand but not mover her legs to walk......She had to get out today the neurologist said the best place for her was with me at home because without me there she become delirious and lost and doesnt trust anyone or know where she is, but as soon I get there within 5 to 10 minutes she comes to and knows where she is and addresses dates and lets the nurses take her blood etc......

The loook on her face or being scared, bewildered and my gosh I would not wish this on anybody - I stayed there 9 hours,6 hours and 9 hours - NYE i didnt leave there til 20 til 12 and visitor hours are over at 8.....last 2 days they told me i had to leave at 8 and she was so scared and confused.

She is the world to me and can not stop crying. THye want to send her to rehab and yeah she needs it, but it is going to wreck her mentally. I just keep thinking about her being all alone and scared right now and waking up tomorrow even worse........please make this stop. I can't stop crying - she means the world to me , but she scared when I had to leave.....pleaaaaaaaaaaase

Snood, my mother said repeatedly that if we put her in a home that she would kill herself. The first time that I saw her at her new place she was surrounded by “her gang” as I called them, and barely payed me any attention.

I know that is different than going into a rehab place but she will likely adjust. Tell her that you will come see her, COVID rules allowing. Or that you will call twice daily or something.

Sometimes it is hard to let go, and that applies to her also, but it sounds like she has some medical issues that need attending to. I think that she will be Ok once in there, especially with the thought of getting home as soon as she is better.

Sometimes it is hard to see the forest through the trees, but it sounds like she has some issues that need resolving. Don’t take it too hard my man, as you are doing all that you can do right now.
 

kap'n krunch

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I have to deal with my wife's family , where mental illness runs rampant ... at least your Mom is under treatment and you can more or less handle her...on my side it's basically a constant battle because ..how do you tell a 25 year old she has MALIGNANT NARCISSISM or an 88 year old who does not trust her kids and says they are out to get her that she needs to be put in a home????
and that is just the tip of the story....

Here is to wishing you a lot of strength, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
 

esimms86

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Snood, my mother said repeatedly that if we put her in a home that she would kill herself. The first time that I saw her at her new place she was surrounded by “her gang” as I called them, and barely payed me any attention.

I know that is different than going into a rehab place but she will likely adjust. Tell her that you will come see her, COVID rules allowing. Or that you will call twice daily or something.

Sometimes it is hard to let go, and that applies to her also, but it sounds like she has some medical issues that need attending to. I think that she will be Ok once in there, especially with the thought of getting home as soon as she is better.

Sometimes it is hard to see the forest through the trees, but it sounds like she has some issues that need resolving. Don’t take it too hard my man, as you are doing all that you can do right now.
I second the above recommendation made by @doity. If your Mom doesn’t go to rehab then she will remain with the limitations she has now, that is, specifically, not being able to walk. That would be a tragedy for both of you. You can also visit her for hours every day, thus, helping both you and her to get through this phase together, and also signaling loudly to the staff that your Mom has people who care. In my experience with my own Mom, it is critical to your Mom’s care for the staff to be aware of this fact. Sadly, less attention is paid to patients in rehab whose families don’t come around often. If there are multiple patients who need attention and your Mom needs to be changed, she would be way less likely to be at the end of the line to receive care if the staff knows that she has a strong advocate who is likely show up at any moment. Further, you will get a real sense of who the committed caretakers are in the rehab facility and you can, therefore, become active in developing an allegiance with such people. Also, remember that insurance companies, for better or worse, will only provide coverage for a limited time period(usually a maximum of 90 days) so that she will not be there forever. Lastly, care providers, including nurses and social workers, have to evaluate your home situation before sending your Mom home. I say this because it provides an opportunity for the care team to take a serious look at what specific home care services might be instrumental in providing the best situation for Mom to do well once she’s home. You may possibly even learn of available resources that you, previous to now, might not have been aware of.

As alway, remember that you are surrounded by your QQ family who value you greatly and send best wishes, prayers and good karma your way.
 
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Snood

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Well everybody I dunno how to say this..........but I took MommaSnood home Monday Night - man this is gonna be a long story. After Sunday being so close to having her come home only to see her not be able to take a step I was distraught and she became delirious knowing she would have to stay - she was frightened. I was crushed seeing her like that - visitor closing time is now 8pm and every night I left if she was up she would become frightened and delirious....If she was sleeping, I would try to wake her, but if I could not I knew she would wake up to a dark room freaking out. Each day became progressively worse mentally to the point she was super angry at me for leaving her. Explaining did not help on day 5.

I called the program administrator to see if she could get physical therapy to show up when I got there about 2 - I had no sleep the previous days. I had set up for MommaSnood to be transferred to a rehab facility run by the hospital. I did not want to I knew it was gonna destroy her mentally...........she was to be transferred at 6. Had a mom friend show up to help out too....she was freaking out hearing the weirdness coming from her........Phys therapy showed up at 3 and I asked WTH did you get her up at all, did she walk........he siad on day one he did and she walked a lil but he was like she needs rehab.....I was like but 3 days later she can not walk. So he got her ready and stood her up.

This is where it gets weird.......I have never been a super religious guy, but I did say my prayers every night before bed until I was like 40 or 41....stopped because well ummm didn't seem to be working lol - had some bad years starting about 2004 (hurricanes and other stuff).........so I just stopped. Well goofy Snood decided on Sunday night to do it again, basically apologizing for being a deek and not the greatest son in that I should have been there more for her in my 30s and 40s, said do not expect anything because there are a lot more deserving people in the world that needs God's help then me, butttttttt if he was bored changing channels tonite and happens upon my lame channel or station.....thank you for the listen. Said there was no way she is going to walk by tomorrow, but just asking for a minor miracle even though I know it won't happen just that rehab is going to wreck my mom. So yeah did my usual stuff i used to say and signed off saying sorry for being such a deek more or less. Signed off and forgot about it.

So back to the story......she is standing up - big whoop and me and Mom's friend are looking at each other going umm no way......waiting a minute going yawn.....the umm one small step with a walker....ok yawnish but that is just one foot, then goes the other.......very slow very deliberate, but she made it to the chair he point out about 3 feet away with him behind her and sat down.....then he helps he up and asks her to try to get to the bed and she does it - mind you 10 x slower than a George Romero zombie....but she did it. I then say can we see how she does with her shoes on? She does a bit better. It is about then the previous paragraph hits me

Mom's friend is still convinced she need rehab - oh a doctor had come in before the Phys Therapy and was actually looking at her knee and swelling etc.....sat and watched her walk. So i go out to the aisle and nurses station with them kinda balling my eyes out saying i do not know what to do - so they both started giving their take. Phys Therapy says look I am only talking about the physical part without taking anything else into consideration and upon that I think she should get a week or more of rehab. Then the lady doctor who was muslim (but i would have switched to her pronto) she says he does have a point, but from what I saw if you are willing and it will be tough you could take her for a week then have in house phys rehab come over 5 times a week.....but the first week is going to be rough and I do not think she needs to be in rehab 1) beacause fo Covid and she is 83 - 2) her mental state and what it might do.

Well was like I like that and shit this is going to be rough....and then said what kinda shit would I be If the one thing I asked for came to fruition and I said nahhhhh off to rehab she goes lol. Ummmmm

So yeah brought mom home and canceled the rehab facilty - in house should be coming next week - when we discharged, i was like please mom don't do a Michigan J Frog on me - nah she got up and in the wheel chair fine and in the car fine. We talked a lot on the way back but her voice was real hoarse from screaming at hospital....the stuff i saw.

Had a friend across the street meet me at home to help if needed - really did not need........she was fidgety - she finally fell alseep in a chair watching tv in the family room......woker her up about 1130 to get her to bed in her new bedroom. She was scared and did not want to get into bed because she was afraid a nurse would be jabbing her or taking her somewhere for test or who knows. I talked her down and said she was home and safe......got her to use the potty chair and change her undies then into bed......she fell asleep quick. She got up about 830am and got her going...........she improved a ton from yesterday longer and a bit faster......but she was still scared that I would leave her, even though my room is like right near hers - if she did not her my voice or see me go by like 10 of 15 mins she would call out Joey are you there? Would be like yes Mom always am and will let you know if i go outside -----sometimes i would beat her to the punch and say mom you alright. Seems a lot better today mentally, but everyday is a new day. The physical I am impressed by.....told her so and she was happy to hear it. So yeah Phys Therapy coming in house, setting up a nurse to come in couple times a week and possibly someone to help with the showers, but not so sure she or i will be keen on that one. Got a new transport wheelchair for free and another potty today also. MOMMA SNOOD IS HOME THANK GOD Lotta patience needed and earlier bedtimes too.

yeah I just checked the baby monitor and she had her eyes open so i went in and she said she was still scared. Talked to her a bit saying she is safe we are at home. That place screwed her up a bit as far as going to bed and being in a bed.
 
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audiomaster

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You don't have to believe for God to decide to use YOU as His instrument or to channel his power thru YOUR hands to help her. You may feel him working thru you or you may not, but trust the instincts and intuitions HE puts in your head for you to act on. All the best to you both.
 

esimms86

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I am overjoyed to hear that your mom is doing so much better. Clearly, she is heavily invested in wanting to walk again and so she is. Home physical therapy five times a week is almost unheard of so you are also super fortunate with that. It would be great if the visiting nurse coming in a couple of times a week could help with her bowel issues. Please give the home health aide some time to connect with you and your mom and earn your trust. It won’t come quick or easy because for years the only person she has come to trust is you.

I’m not an especially religious person but I have heard countless stories similar to this(in terms of situations turning themselves around) and I would be hard pressed to argue that @audiomaster wasn’t onto something.
 

reidc

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Fitchburg, MA
Hello Snood-
I have never "met" you, but in reading here what you've been going though is heartbreaking. I thoroughly understand what you go through- as I've been there.

We went through this for 5+ yrs with my Mom and needed to stay there for periods. You give up many of your interests, as you just no longer have the energy or the bandwidth to deal with anything other than necessities such as caring, working, cooking, etc.

You are a saint!
Chris
 

doity

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Well everybody I dunno how to say this..........but I took MommaSnood home Monday Night - man this is gonna be a long story. After Sunday being so close to having her come home only to see her not be able to take a step I was distraught and she became delirious knowing she would have to stay - she was frightened. I was crushed seeing her like that - visitor closing time is now 8pm and every night I left if she was up she would become frightened and delirious....If she was sleeping, I would try to wake her, but if I could not I knew she would wake up to a dark room freaking out. Each day became progressively worse mentally to the point she was super angry at me for leaving her. Explaining did not help on day 5.

I called the program administrator to see if she could get physical therapy to show up when I got there about 2 - I had no sleep the previous days. I had set up for MommaSnood to be transferred to a rehab facility run by the hospital. I did not want to I knew it was gonna destroy her mentally...........she was to be transferred at 6. Had a mom friend show up to help out too....she was freaking out hearing the weirdness coming from her........Phys therapy showed up at 3 and I asked WTH did you get her up at all, did she walk........he siad on day one he did and she walked a lil but he was like she needs rehab.....I was like but 3 days later she can not walk. So he got her ready and stood her up.

This is where it gets weird.......I have never been a super religious guy, but I did say my prayers every night before bed until I was like 40 or 41....stopped because well ummm didn't seem to be working lol - had some bad years starting about 2004 (hurricanes and other stuff).........so I just stopped. Well goofy Snood decided on Sunday night to do it again, basically apologizing for being a deek and not the greatest son in that I should have been there more for her in my 30s and 40s, said do not expect anything because there are a lot more deserving people in the world that needs God's help then me, butttttttt if he was bored changing channels tonite and happens upon my lame channel or station.....thank you for the listen. Said there was no way she is going to walk by tomorrow, but just asking for a minor miracle even though I know it won't happen just that rehab is going to wreck my mom. So yeah did my usual stuff i used to say and signed off saying sorry for being such a deek more or less. Signed off and forgot about it.

So back to the story......she is standing up - big whoop and me and Mom's friend are looking at each other going umm no way......waiting a minute going yawn.....the umm one small step with a walker....ok yawnish but that is just one foot, then goes the other.......very slow very deliberate, but she made it to the chair he point out about 3 feet away with him behind her and sat down.....then he helps he up and asks her to try to get to the bed and she does it - mind you 10 x slower than a George Romero zombie....but she did it. I then say can we see how she does with her shoes on? She does a bit better. It is about then the previous paragraph hits me

Mom's friend is still convinced she need rehab - oh a doctor had come in before the Phys Therapy and was actually looking at her knee and swelling etc.....sat and watched her walk. So i go out to the aisle and nurses station with them kinda balling my eyes out saying i do not know what to do - so they both started giving their take. Phys Therapy says look I am only talking about the physical part without taking anything else into consideration and upon that I think she should get a week or more of rehab. Then the lady doctor who was muslim (but i would have switched to her pronto) she says he does have a point, but from what I saw if you are willing and it will be tough you could take her for a week then have in house phys rehab come over 5 times a week.....but the first week is going to be rough and I do not think she needs to be in rehab 1) beacause fo Covid and she is 83 - 2) her mental state and what it might do.

Well was like I like that and shit this is going to be rough....and then said what kinda shit would I be If the one thing I asked for came to fruition and I said nahhhhh off to rehab she goes lol. Ummmmm

So yeah brought mom home and canceled the rehab facilty - in house should be coming next week - when we discharged, i was like please mom don't do a Michigan J Frog on me - nah she got up and in the wheel chair fine and in the car fine. We talked a lot on the way back but her voice was real hoarse from screaming at hospital....the stuff i saw.

Had a friend across the street meet me at home to help if needed - really did not need........she was fidgety - she finally fell alseep in a chair watching tv in the family room......woker her up about 1130 to get her to bed in her new bedroom. She was scared and did not want to get into bed because she was afraid a nurse would be jabbing her or taking her somewhere for test or who knows. I talked her down and said she was home and safe......got her to use the potty chair and change her undies then into bed......she fell asleep quick. She got up about 830am and got her going...........she improved a ton from yesterday longer and a bit faster......but she was still scared that I would leave her, even though my room is like right near hers - if she did not her my voice or see me go by like 10 of 15 mins she would call out Joey are you there? Would be like yes Mom always am and will let you know if i go outside -----sometimes i would beat her to the punch and say mom you alright. Seems a lot better today mentally, but everyday is a new day. The physical I am impressed by.....told her so and she was happy to hear it. So yeah Phys Therapy coming in house, setting up a nurse to come in couple times a week and possibly someone to help with the showers, but not so sure she or i will be keen on that one. Got a new transport wheelchair for free and another potty today also. MOMMA SNOOD IS HOME THANK GOD Lotta patience needed and earlier bedtimes too.

yeah I just checked the baby monitor and she had her eyes open so i went in and she said she was still scared. Talked to her a bit saying she is safe we are at home. That place screwed her up a bit as far as going to bed and being in a bed.


Good to hear Snood. I would make sure that you are around when and if she moves around. I am sure that you have thought ahead about that already though. I am glad to hear that you will be getting in home care for her rehab and hopefully you will get the same physical therapist every time. It sounds like she thrives on familiarity. Do you have any other family members to help out? You are doing a great thing, but you don’t want to burn yourself out and harm your health or god forbid hers. You are only human, and as much as you love your mother sooner or later it will begin to take its toll. It happens to all caregivers eventually and it happened to me also. As serious as the matter is, you really need to see the lighter side of the situation once in awhile.........if only for your own sanity.
 
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doity

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Hey everyone. I think we should all give a shout out to Snood who is doing a great job in taking care of his mother. I know that he is having a rough time of it lately, and it would help him to hear from us all and to give him a few words of encouragement. Let him know that we are thinking of him and to send some positive energy his way.

I’ll just say it.......Snood you rock and your mother is lucky to have a son like you! Your dedication is both admirable and commendable.
 
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