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mlrocker

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thats a rough path you got, my heart goes out to you. we all must face these challenges in our own journey through life. the key is to see it through, to the last chapter, the last page, etc.. it is all very much "in surround". It is the care we give others that is essence of life here, and from your committment, courage, and witness, we all learn and benefit in our own stuggles. ...and I hope that KISS box set is everything you want it to be, brother Snood!
 

RustyStatic

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In situations such as this I think we all want to feel that we can be confident that in the future, we will have no regrets about how we showed up for our loved ones. From both the sentiments you've shared and the actions you've demonstrated, I think you can be very confident in how you showed up—in fact, I believe it shows a love and a fortitude that many (most?) struggle to possess. This is what every-day, real life, on-the-ground heroism looks like. Take heart in that and be well, man.
 

jamesc

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I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, Snood. You're being a tremendous son for your mother. Don't ever feel guilty or beat yourself up or second guess your decisions. You're doing the best you can and I'm sure she appreciates that. Protect yourself as well though.
 

Snood

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Thank you every one for the well wishes and support

Things got a ton worse today

mom supposedly had a yeast UTI infection and then was referred to an Infectious Disease for IV Vocoratazole dr by her nurse prac urologist........infectious disease doc said umm I want a different urine test to be sure so I got it Monday - but while at the office doc started her on voriconazole - Friday she started seeing some weird shit.....Saturday was ok but still saw stuff - she woke me at 330 to go to the bathroom she was cracking jokes and was fine.......Sunday morning she wakes me up like 8am will the ding dong button and is like nuts seeing shit and batty - Monday weird but was the best day with her in a long while, I was like wow this stuff is working finally, but then stuff started getting real weird Tuesday then today was just out of control seeing lots of people, could not get food in mouth would hit her chin, she was getting no sleep for like 2 days and having full on auditory and verbal conversations laughing and responding.........I had to go see a lawyer to do a will today and one of her friends sat with her - I was having trouble getting her in her wheelchair and chair in the porch........come back and frined says she could not navigate a donut to her mouth and i am like wtf. Made her a sandwich and yep I was like freaking still am............called both reg doc and infectious disease doc and infect said the urine test on monday came back negative for UTI and yes do not take any more of the meds because that might be what is causing the symptom because they are known side effects.........if they do not subside then ER which would kill my mom mentally - doc says well bring her in for blood test - i am like i cant hardly get her up to get out of a chair let alone get her in a car, so they suggested mobile lab - i asked does medicare or tricare cover it - they did not know - then wanted to schedule a 950 online app with nurse prac i never had heard of saying it might be a long session - i am thinking they are going to try to sell my mom into assisted living since her docs group owns a shitload.....they were pushing ER a bit, but i was like well it is not sepsis of UTI like you thought because the labs came back neg and infectious doc says get her off the meds and things might get better..........think I am going to go that route and hope for the best......she did not get any sleep for like 2 nights and days with the visions having conversations - I got her inside in the wheelchair with the help of a neighbor and she wanted to sit by my fireplace i set up with lights that make it look like a fire is going.......I go out to talk to my neighbor come back in and she is finally sleeping......tip toes for the last hour and half hoping she gets a few more hours

I am spent - i am just sitting her trying to be quiet in my room hoping she gets a few hours sleep or more - I so do not want her to have to go into assisted living - i want her to come back - she knows who I am still but it is very wonky. I can not stop crying
 

4-earredwonder

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It's heart wrenching what you're going through Snood, but it sounds like you are suffering more in the process. And if ANYTHING happens to YOU, think of the consequences?

Your beloved Mother needs 24 hour care...there's NO denying that, and putting a loved one in the care of 'strangers,' aka an assisted care facility, has always been a difficult decision. It almost seems like a betrayal ...... but in this instance, Snood, there has to be someplace you'd feel comfortable relieving YOURSELF of those 24/7 duties by entrusting her care and wellbeing to a facility that could cater to her needs.

We ALL LOVE you Snood and care very much for your amazingly unselfish dedication to your mom. But at some point you have to face reality that you've done as much as you humanly can to make her comfortable and not deprive her of her familiar surroundings. But keep this in mind ....your survival and wellbeing are just as important!!!!!!

We all trust you will make the right decision!
 
Last edited:

DuncanS

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Thank you every one for the well wishes and support

Things got a ton worse today

mom supposedly had a yeast UTI infection and then was referred to an Infectious Disease for IV Vocoratazole dr by her nurse prac urologist........infectious disease doc said umm I want a different urine test to be sure so I got it Monday - but while at the office doc started her on voriconazole - Friday she started seeing some weird shit.....Saturday was ok but still saw stuff - she woke me at 330 to go to the bathroom she was cracking jokes and was fine.......Sunday morning she wakes me up like 8am will the ding dong button and is like nuts seeing shit and batty - Monday weird but was the best day with her in a long while, I was like wow this stuff is working finally, but then stuff started getting real weird Tuesday then today was just out of control seeing lots of people, could not get food in mouth would hit her chin, she was getting no sleep for like 2 days and having full on auditory and verbal conversations laughing and responding.........I had to go see a lawyer to do a will today and one of her friends sat with her - I was having trouble getting her in her wheelchair and chair in the porch........come back and frined says she could not navigate a donut to her mouth and i am like wtf. Made her a sandwich and yep I was like freaking still am............called both reg doc and infectious disease doc and infect said the urine test on monday came back negative for UTI and yes do not take any more of the meds because that might be what is causing the symptom because they are known side effects.........if they do not subside then ER which would kill my mom mentally - doc says well bring her in for blood test - i am like i cant hardly get her up to get out of a chair let alone get her in a car, so they suggested mobile lab - i asked does medicare or tricare cover it - they did not know - then wanted to schedule a 950 online app with nurse prac i never had heard of saying it might be a long session - i am thinking they are going to try to sell my mom into assisted living since her docs group owns a shitload.....they were pushing ER a bit, but i was like well it is not sepsis of UTI like you thought because the labs came back neg and infectious doc says get her off the meds and things might get better..........think I am going to go that route and hope for the best......she did not get any sleep for like 2 nights and days with the visions having conversations - I got her inside in the wheelchair with the help of a neighbor and she wanted to sit by my fireplace i set up with lights that make it look like a fire is going.......I go out to talk to my neighbor come back in and she is finally sleeping......tip toes for the last hour and half hoping she gets a few more hours

I am spent - i am just sitting her trying to be quiet in my room hoping she gets a few hours sleep or more - I so do not want her to have to go into assisted living - i want her to come back - she knows who I am still but it is very wonky. I can not stop crying
At a time when all I read about in the news is about one mans inhumanity to other people and I end up feeling appalled and low. I then read your post and your humanity & dedication shines through it all. It is immensely hard & stressful to do what you are doing without any support (there were 4 of us to help our Mum), your Mom will appreciate all you are doing.
 

doity

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So sad to hear about your mother Snood. Obviously she needs your company and closeness, but she also obviously needs care at this point beyond what you can provide. Maybe if she gets around the clock care they can pinpoint what is going on.

Like 4-ear said above....you have done as much as possible under the circumstances. I would worry that by keeping her at home that you could be depriving both of you of any chance of her getting better. Like I told you previously, it is hard to let go when loved ones are involved. It is closing the door on a part of your life, potentially forever. But I see that you have no choice now but to do so and hope for the best. Like they say in those AA meetings, let go and let god.

We are all thinking of you Snood and keeping our fingers crossed.
 

Mesozoic Mike

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Thank you every one for the well wishes and support

Things got a ton worse today

mom supposedly had a yeast UTI infection and then was referred to an Infectious Disease for IV Vocoratazole dr by her nurse prac urologist........infectious disease doc said umm I want a different urine test to be sure so I got it Monday - but while at the office doc started her on voriconazole - Friday she started seeing some weird shit.....Saturday was ok but still saw stuff - she woke me at 330 to go to the bathroom she was cracking jokes and was fine.......Sunday morning she wakes me up like 8am will the ding dong button and is like nuts seeing shit and batty - Monday weird but was the best day with her in a long while, I was like wow this stuff is working finally, but then stuff started getting real weird Tuesday then today was just out of control seeing lots of people, could not get food in mouth would hit her chin, she was getting no sleep for like 2 days and having full on auditory and verbal conversations laughing and responding.........I had to go see a lawyer to do a will today and one of her friends sat with her - I was having trouble getting her in her wheelchair and chair in the porch........come back and frined says she could not navigate a donut to her mouth and i am like wtf. Made her a sandwich and yep I was like freaking still am............called both reg doc and infectious disease doc and infect said the urine test on monday came back negative for UTI and yes do not take any more of the meds because that might be what is causing the symptom because they are known side effects.........if they do not subside then ER which would kill my mom mentally - doc says well bring her in for blood test - i am like i cant hardly get her up to get out of a chair let alone get her in a car, so they suggested mobile lab - i asked does medicare or tricare cover it - they did not know - then wanted to schedule a 950 online app with nurse prac i never had heard of saying it might be a long session - i am thinking they are going to try to sell my mom into assisted living since her docs group owns a shitload.....they were pushing ER a bit, but i was like well it is not sepsis of UTI like you thought because the labs came back neg and infectious doc says get her off the meds and things might get better..........think I am going to go that route and hope for the best......she did not get any sleep for like 2 nights and days with the visions having conversations - I got her inside in the wheelchair with the help of a neighbor and she wanted to sit by my fireplace i set up with lights that make it look like a fire is going.......I go out to talk to my neighbor come back in and she is finally sleeping......tip toes for the last hour and half hoping she gets a few more hours

I am spent - i am just sitting her trying to be quiet in my room hoping she gets a few hours sleep or more - I so do not want her to have to go into assisted living - i want her to come back - she knows who I am still but it is very wonky. I can not stop crying
I am so sorry. Try to take just one day at a time and care for yourself.
 
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